Spinning out

My tech is working, but I still feel like a failure.

I've tried at every step of the project to set expectations, but they don't listen. This is not my fault, yet I still feel like a failure.

I have some friends left, but I feel like a failure there too. All the uplifting stuff I read talks about personal connection. Yeah, good job, bro.

Mindbloom has a very nice rendition of this Oprah sound bite, set to music, lightly edited.

Each session has a sound bite like this, then music, all on soundcloud.

I went back through my sessions, liked the sound bites, and listened them on repeat as I cried, and drove home from my camp site on Sunday.

Oh yeah, I made it out. yay.

I got to help two stranded motorists, 20+ miles into the mountains on fire roads. One had the same plumbing issue I did on the same road, in the same manner, about a mile away. Another motorist stopped and fixed the issue, and then I stopped, masked up, and gave them water.

The other one was on my way out. Saw a Jeep Cherokee off in the brush with its hood up. Reversed back, yelled out "y'all need some help?". "YES!". They were stuck out there all night long! I think the guy was disabled, since he didn't get out. I masked up, jumped em with 1 of my 3 battery jumpstarters, and they were off.

Also got into an accident on said dirt road, but I was crawling along, and he came careening out of nowhere. I diffused the situation well, and it ended up being a good example for his son.

This is supposed to help, journaling... I guess I feel a little better?

I know I'm living my best life; I have a good job, great dog, awesome Jeep, own my House, etc.

I'm a white male in America, I understand some of my privilege, I *should* be on cloud nine.

Mental illness blows goats, everyone.