Mindbloom

Did Mindbloom yesterday.

Was a let down due to the dosage, but they warned me, and I knew the first session is to get some sort of baseline.

One of the things that sets Mindbloom apart is that they build in the therapy to the program, in addition to the medicine. My integration coach, Eugene, seems nice. Met over Zoom, just before I did the sublingual Ketamine. He's like a guide/therapist-lite, to *guide* me to think about it their way, which is totally cool. If it works, it works, and it's hella cheaper/easier than IV, and I'd love to stop the semi-nightly nasal Ketamine.

The catch is that I had to have another human with me, verified via zoom. My ex drove over, respecting my paranoia with her mask on, because she hasn't gotten around to getting her shots. It was weird chatting with her on my couch, with our masks on. My Stubborn streak won, and I stayed masked up like an intelligent human.

(I call it paranoia to remind myself to chill, but the fact of the matter is that a global pandemic is still raging, India is collapsing, and people are still being stupid.)

Had a little cry on zoom with him, which was uncomfortable, but necessary to remind myself that certain things can still set me off with that weird cry-talk thing. ugh.

It was setting an intention, verbally, with him on the Zoom: My intention was to let go of the Covid fear, and get back to enjoying life, and getting outdoors. Being forced to say that to someone else was powerful, and it choked me up big time.