Relaxing is hard

I'm trying very hard to enjoy this period of intentional rest. The hours I do spend are barely enough to exercise my tech brain. I really, really, really want something productive to do.

I'm pretty stuck in the house, in my holding pattern. I know I need to get out of the house, and into nature, but I always find reasons not to.

It's cold, gas money, potential problems, nobody to share it with...

Random stuff:

1. I bought the dual battery kit for my jeep, so I won't get stranded if my aux battery dies.

2. I reupped my mindbloom, and went to an integration circle zoom. It reminded me of the other tools in my toolbelt.

3. Saw a therapist twice, but didn't like her.

4. My dog hurt his neck badly, so a few trips to the vet later, one with xrays, he's fine, just needs forced rest.

5. Fuck me, I'm lonely.

6. I started making my own subliminals with audacity, it's not hard, and free.

7. I need to get another dog, but don't want him to be jealous.

8. Neither of my exes had responded to my texts in quite some time, and I was feeling pretty sad, but one texted yesterday. Her kitty is getting put to sleep today.

9. It's tough to separate my feelings from the feelings of others, empathy hasn't helped me much, but it keeps me out of trouble.

I just keep reminding myself that I'm safe.

I have safety nets, and it's pretty hard to take someone's house.